This here blog has a very little fan base, made up largely of me and 7 loyal followers and a couple of lovely lurkers (I don't judge- I do it!) and how lovely you all are, the emails, comments, I adore you guys!
My Oli came home on Tuesday night, and how happy we are to have her back!
She spent 11 days in hospital, and to say she was fed up is an understatement to say the least, she is not yet very mobile, and needs help with getting in and out of bed and whatnot, and faces months of physiotherapy, some in water, but I don't care, because until those wee hours of Saturday morning, with my parents gone, not knowing if I would have a sister to come home to me, I didn't realise how much I need my sister, how I need her honesty, her beauty and comedy, I knew I loved her but at that moment I realised that Oli has a good grasp of my heart and I need her, I will always need her, because my sisters and I fit three parts of a trio, we need each other.
And so I now realise more than ever, that I don't care what she has to do to get better, I care that it may be hard and it may hurt her, but I am just so unequivocally grateful that we get her, that by God's grace she is here.
I always knew I loved her, because she's my sister, but I now know that I adore her and I just can't elaborate on that, she's my sister. That's it.
I hate that she's hurting, I hate that Jack is gone and will never get to experience the thing's he should, I hate this, I'm angry for her, I have always believed that God has a plan for us, that thing's happen for a reason because there is just no way to explain these things, and in some way's I'm still partial to this.
This is Olivia's second crash in as many months, the same driver was driving, with her and close friend Phillip, but they were not at fault, they were hit by a drunk driver at speed and in police chase, they were injured but not seriously, they were just getting over it.
But it is this that reassures me that my Oli is meant to be here, and that she has a purpose on this earth, and that she will change and help it. because she's my Oli, but the death of Jack, beloved by everyone, a thoroughly kind and decent boy, makes me question everything, I can't see that we will ever be able to make sense of this, but I hope and pray that one day, Olivia will be able to....I don't know.
His funeral is tomorrow, they are expecting a spectacular turnout, and by the sounds of it it will be a spectacular event to boot, they are sending him off in style, as is fitting.
The only good that has come of this life changing- for so many families, ordeal, is that I understand how crucial my sister is to my very being, And that I have had my faith thoroughly restored in the good and the grace God has invested in others, they have been unfailing in their strength and goodness, and kind kind gestures, nothing is too much to help. And, if it can be described as such, that Jack is at peace and will always be so, to watch over his loved ones and his friends, in the long months and year's ahead.
And the rest of it? well Andrew is awaiting surgery, and many an operation to fix his leg, the biggest of those not until next week when he will be given a metal kneecap, such is the extent of the damage, he does not complain and remains in good spirits, he's a dude, Andrew. The driver sustained serious head injuries, and is greatly affected, I don't want to say any more but please keep everyone involved in your thoughts and prayers.
Olivia will attend the funeral, wheelchair bound tomorrow, for someone so young it is a horrific ordeal, for her and everyone else, I have an exam I simply cannot miss, and am racked with guilt over my absence, but I doubt anyone there will miss lil' old me. Oli is okay at home, she's lost it a few times but she's simply an amazing girl- I hope she doesn't read this, because that'd just be awkward, but I hope she'd know already.
And me?- I don't feel right complaining, or saying too much- or saying nothing at all, I'm just doing my best not to be alone with my thoughts for too long, and to be there for my Oli, because I think she's been- and continues to be, amazing.
I'm done, sorry it was long winded but I had to spit it all out, it's been clogging up my head for a week, goodness know's there's enough up there as it is.
You can read what I couldn't write, here and here.
Please keep everyone in your thoughts and prayers, they will need them with every ounce of their being's.
Until next time my sweethearts, when perhaps I shall be more myself,